From the Guidelines
To develop a secure attachment style as an adult, it is crucial to focus on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and building healthy relationships, as recent studies suggest that attachment remains malleable beyond infancy, even into adolescence and adulthood, to some extent 1. When considering the development of a secure attachment style, several key factors come into play, including:
- Self-awareness: Examining your current attachment patterns through reflection or journaling about your relationship behaviors and emotional responses is essential.
- Emotional regulation: Practicing emotional regulation by identifying and naming your feelings without judgment, using mindfulness techniques like deep breathing when feeling anxious or avoidant in relationships, can help.
- Building healthy relationships: Seeking therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy or psychodynamic approaches, can help address attachment wounds from childhood, and building a support network of consistent, trustworthy relationships where you can practice vulnerability gradually is vital. The importance of a secure attachment style is highlighted by its impact on mental health, with studies showing that less secure attachment styles are associated with increased symptoms of postpartum depression and other mental health issues 2. In terms of specific strategies for developing a secure attachment style, it is essential to:
- Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.
- Communicate openly about your needs and boundaries while respecting those of others in relationships.
- Recognize that developing secure attachment takes time, as you are rewiring neural pathways formed early in life, but consistent practice of these skills can lead to more fulfilling relationships and improved emotional wellbeing, as supported by the concept of relational health care and the importance of forming and maintaining safe, stable, and nurturing relationships 3.
From the Research
Factors Contributing to Secure Attachment Style in Adults
Several factors contribute to the development of a secure attachment style in adults, including:
- A positive and supportive therapeutic relationship, which can provide a secure base for individuals to explore and process their attachment experiences 4
- The ability to formulate and process relationship experiences in a healthy and constructive manner 4, 5
- The presence of self-compassion, which can mediate the relationship between attachment style and eudaimonic well-being 6
- Experiences that foster personal confidence and secure mental models of the self, such as positive dependence and secure relationships 5
- A therapist's awareness of their own and their clients' attachment experiences, and their ability to formulate and meet clients' attachment needs 4
Key Themes in Attachment-Informed Therapy
Research has identified several key themes in attachment-informed therapy, including:
- Changing internal working models
- The therapeutic relationship and creating a secure base
- Formulating and processing relationship experiences
- Countertransference
- Separation, termination, and boundary issues
- Working with different attachment styles or patterns 4
The Importance of Attachment Security in Adulthood
Attachment security is important for psychological well-being in adulthood, and is related to feelings of joy, comfort, and contentment throughout life 7, 8. Secure attachment can facilitate an attitude of kindness and acceptance toward the self, and can enhance psychological and physical well-being 6, 8.