How can parents support the psychological development of children attending daycare?

Supporting Psychological Development of Children in Daycare

Parents should prioritize establishing consistent routines, dedicating daily one-on-one "special time" with their child, and maintaining strong communication with daycare providers to support their child's psychological development during daycare attendance. 1

Core Parenting Strategies

Establish Predictable Routines

• Create visual schedules using pictorial charts for mealtimes, sleep times, and daily rituals to reduce stress responses and restore a sense of order, particularly important when children transition between home and daycare environments 1
• Prepare children verbally for changes in routines or transitions between daycare and home to minimize anxiety 1
• Use consistent bedtime rituals such as "brush teeth, read a story, sing a song, then lights out" to provide predictability 1

Implement Daily "Time-In" or Special Time

• Dedicate 10-30 minutes daily of child-chosen, child-directed play where the child selects the activity and leads the interaction 1
• For infants and toddlers, reading time serves as an excellent "time-in" activity 1
• This practice is recommended from early childhood through adolescence and strengthens parent-child attachment 1

Practice Positive Parenting Techniques

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends these evidence-based approaches 1:

• Help children identify and name their emotions, then teach healthy ways to express feelings and build self-regulation skills 1
• Provide attuned, attentive listening that starts with "serve and return" interactions in infancy and evolves into conversational exchanges 1
• Set appropriate boundaries through connecting and listening rather than commanding; teach rather than tell (e.g., "We draw on paper, not on walls, because it's hard to wash markers off walls") 1
• Catch the child being good and offer specific, positive praise for desired behaviors 1
• Use positive language instead of "no" commands (e.g., "We use gentle hands" rather than "Don't hit") 1
• Model desired behaviors yourself, as children mimic what they see rather than what they're told 1

Communication with Daycare Providers

Establish Open Information Sharing

• Parents and daycare providers must openly share information to ensure the child is appropriately prepared for the daycare environment 1
• Characteristics of caregivers are the key components of high-quality child care, yet this is rarely appreciated by parents 2
• Discuss your child's developmental needs, temperament, and any specific concerns with providers regularly 1

Monitor Quality Indicators

Research shows that even well-educated parents often fail to check daycare facilities adequately 3. Actively assess these caregiver characteristics that promote development 2:

• Caregiver responsiveness and sensitivity to individual children's needs
• Consistency in caregiver assignments (fewer different caregivers promotes better attachment) 1
• Provider training in child development
• Low child-to-caregiver ratios

Address Health and Safety

• Parents tolerate an average of 9.3% unsafe features and don't know the status of 22.4% of safety features in their child's daycare 3
• Discuss health and safety issues in the daycare environment during well-child visits with your pediatrician 3
• Be aware that daycare centers with 6 or more children increase communicable illnesses and ear infections, though these have no long-term adverse consequences 4

Developmental Considerations

Tailor Expectations to Developmental Level

• Expectations should be tailored to the child's actual developmental level rather than chronological age 1, 5
• Celebrate and reward small steps toward desired behaviors, as skill development may require repetition and practice 1
• Understand that children process information differently than adults due to their cognitive abilities and communication skills 6

Manage Stress Responses

When children show stress from daycare transitions 1:

• Repeatedly assure the child they are safe and allow them to express feelings while listening attentively 1
• Provide extra physical contact (if appropriate) with hugs, touch, and rocking for younger children 1
• Use distraction techniques such as suggesting games, music, or deep breathing when the child is dysregulating 1
• Teach relaxation techniques including belly breathing, guided imagery, and mindfulness 1

Critical Timing and Amount Considerations

Children who begin daycare early in life and attend 30 or more hours weekly are at increased risk for stress-related behavioral problems, particularly if they have difficulties with peer interactions or have insensitive parents 4. However, this risk can be mitigated through:

• High-quality care environments 4
• Strong parent-child relationships maintained through the strategies above 1
• Appropriate developmental support at home 1, 4

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

• Do not overstate your child's fragility, as this can lead to excessive protectiveness that restricts social development and causes behavior problems 1
• Avoid placing developmental responsibilities on older siblings to model behavior for younger children; parents should be the primary role models 5
• Don't assume providers automatically communicate well with parents about health behaviors; actively engage in these conversations 7
• Recognize that difficult conversations with providers may be challenging for them, so approach communication collaboratively 7

When to Seek Additional Support

Refer to evidence-based trauma-informed mental health services when you observe 1, 8:

• Complex behavioral symptoms
• Mental health concerns
• Significant stress responses that don't improve with home interventions
• Persistent difficulties with peer relationships or attachment

The quality of daycare matters significantly, but home experiences and parent-child interactions remain the most influential factors in children's psychological development 7, 4.