How can I help my relative with gambling addiction, specifically when they offer treats from their winnings?

Helping a Relative with Gambling Addiction: Family Response Strategy

You should decline accepting treats from gambling winnings, as this inadvertently reinforces the gambling behavior and masks the true financial and emotional harm your relative is experiencing. 1

Understanding the Core Problem

Gambling disorder is a recognized mental health condition that leads to substantial functional impairment and reduced quality of life, with financial, emotional, and relationship problems being central features 1. Your relative is likely experiencing:

• Crisis-driven behavior patterns - People with gambling disorder typically only seek help after experiencing severe harm, and often present with other problems without mentioning gambling unless prompted 1
• High comorbidity rates - 75% of treatment-seeking patients have one or more comorbidities including depression (30%), anxiety disorders, and substance use problems 1
• Increased suicide risk - Gambling disorder is associated with considerably increased risk of suicidality, even after controlling for other mental health conditions 1

Why Declining Treats Is Important

Accepting treats from winnings creates a false narrative that gambling is "helping" or providing benefits to the family. This reinforcement mechanism:

• Masks the true financial devastation occurring behind the scenes 1
• Provides social validation for continued gambling behavior
• Prevents your relative from confronting the full consequences of their disorder 2

Research on family coping strategies indicates that withdrawal coping (setting boundaries, protecting yourself) is the most helpful strategy for family members, while some engaged coping strategies that seem supportive can actually be unhelpful 3.

Specific Actions You Should Take

Immediate Steps

• Decline treats politely but firmly - Explain that you cannot accept anything purchased with gambling money because you care about their wellbeing 2
• Express concern directly - Studies show people with gambling problems often don't mention it without prompting; you need to initiate the conversation 1
• Screen for crisis indicators - Ask specifically about suicidal thoughts, debt, illegal activities to fund gambling, and relationship problems 1

Guiding Them to Treatment

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) should be the initial treatment approach, targeting gambling-specific cognitive distortions 4. Available treatment options include:

• Primary care or psychiatry/addiction psychiatry - These are the most commonly recommended professional treatment modalities (22% and 18% respectively prefer these options) 5
• Motivational Interviewing combined with CBT - Particularly effective for patients ambivalent about change 4, 6
• Naltrexone as adjunct medication - Has the strongest evidence for reducing gambling urges and behavior, but must always be combined with behavioral treatment, never used alone 4, 6

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

• Don't enable by providing money - Even "loans" or "help with bills" can inadvertently fund continued gambling 2, 3
• Don't accept peer support as the only intervention - While 50% of people recommend peer support for gambling problems, professional treatment is necessary for gambling disorder 5
• Don't wait for them to hit "rock bottom" - Less than 5% of adults with gambling disorder receive treatment; early intervention is critical 1

Addressing Barriers to Treatment

Your relative will likely resist treatment due to:

• Internal resistance and fear - Common individual barriers to seeking help 7
• Shame and stigma - People often don't perceive gambling disorder as requiring professional treatment 5, 7
• Comorbid conditions - Screen for ADHD, depression, anxiety, and substance use, which frequently co-occur and complicate treatment-seeking 1, 4, 6

Frame treatment as addressing quality of life and relationships, not just stopping gambling - This approach may reduce resistance 1, 2.

Long-Term Family Strategy

• Protect your own wellbeing - Withdrawal coping strategies that set boundaries are most helpful for family members 3
• Expect relapsing-remitting course - Gambling disorder often follows this pattern over the long term, similar to substance use disorders 1
• Monitor for treatment engagement - If they start treatment, ensure they're receiving evidence-based CBT, not just counseling 1, 4

Your refusal to accept treats is not punitive—it's a boundary that protects both you and helps your relative confront reality. This is a critical first step in breaking the cycle of reinforcement that maintains their gambling disorder 2, 3.