Coping Strategies for a 2-Year-Old with Anxiety and Self-Soothing Behaviors
For a 2-year-old exhibiting anxiety with self-soothing behaviors like blanket chewing, the most effective approach is parent-implemented behavioral strategies focused on dedicated child-directed play time, emotion labeling, distraction techniques, and allowing comfort objects while teaching alternative self-regulation skills. 1
Immediate Comfort and Safety Strategies
Allow and encourage the comfort object (blanket) during stressful moments. A familiar toy, stuffed animal, or blanket provides essential comfort for young children during anxiety episodes. 1 This is developmentally appropriate self-soothing and should not be discouraged at this age.
- Provide extra physical contact including hugs, touch, and rocking when the child shows distress. 2
- Repeatedly reassure the child they are safe, both emotionally and physically. 1
- Remain calm yourself to model self-regulation and avoid retraumatizing the child—your emotional state directly impacts theirs (the "emotional container" concept). 1
Daily Structured Interventions
Dedicate 10-30 minutes daily of "time-in" or special time where the child chooses the activity and directs the play. 1, 2 For toddlers, reading time together is an excellent example of this practice. 1 This builds security and reduces baseline anxiety levels.
Create visual schedules using pictorial charts for mealtimes, sleep times, and daily rituals. 2 This reduces stress responses and restores a sense of order, which is particularly important for anxious toddlers who thrive on predictability.
Teaching Emotion Regulation Skills
Help your child identify and name their emotions as they occur. 1, 2 At age 2, use simple language: "You feel scared," "You feel worried," "You feel safe now." This is the foundation for developing healthy emotional expression and regulation skills. 1
Use distraction techniques when the child is dysregulating: 1, 2
- Suggest a game or favorite activity
- Play music
- Blow bubbles or use a pinwheel
- Offer a different sensory activity
These refocusing techniques are particularly effective in young children and can prevent escalation of anxiety symptoms. 1
Positive Parenting Techniques for Anxiety
Use positive language instead of "no" commands. 1 For example, say "We use gentle hands" rather than "Don't do that." This reduces additional stress on an already anxious child.
Catch the child being good and offer specific, positive praise. 1, 2 When you notice the child coping well or using the blanket appropriately, acknowledge it: "I see you're holding your blanket and feeling calm."
Set appropriate boundaries through connecting and listening rather than commanding—teach rather than tell. 1, 2 For a 2-year-old, this means simple explanations: "We keep the blanket clean so it stays soft for you."
Play-Based Interventions
Engage in unguided play therapy using simple props. 1 Even at age 2, children can benefit from play sessions that allow them to express anxiety. Use dolls, stuffed animals, or simple toys and follow the child's lead without directing the play.
Provide "hands-on" play experiences that are concrete and experiential. 1 Two-year-olds learn through their senses and trial-and-error, so sensory play (water, sand, playdough) can be particularly calming.
Relaxation Techniques Adapted for Toddlers
Teach simple belly breathing by making it playful: 1, 2 Have the child blow bubbles, blow on a pinwheel, or pretend to blow out birthday candles. These activities naturally teach deep breathing without requiring complex instruction.
Use gentle massage or light touch. 1 Gently stroking the child with soft materials can be calming. Some children benefit from gentle pressure or being wrapped snugly.
Critical Developmental Considerations
Tailor expectations to the child's developmental level, not chronological age. 1, 2 A 2-year-old with anxiety may function at a younger developmental level in stressful situations. Celebrate small successes and understand that skill development requires repetition. 1
Understand that separation from parents creates considerable anxiety at this developmental stage. 1 Limit separation time when possible and maintain your presence during stressful situations.
When to Seek Professional Help
Refer to evidence-based trauma-informed mental health services if you observe: 2
- Complex behavioral symptoms beyond typical toddler anxiety
- Persistent difficulties that don't respond to these strategies after consistent implementation
- Significant functional impairment (refusing to eat, severe sleep disruption, inability to engage in age-appropriate activities)
- Regression of previously acquired skills
The combination of parent-implemented behavioral strategies has shown promise even in children as young as 26 months when anxiety causes functional impairment. 3 However, treatment for very young children should involve parent training in CBT strategies rather than direct therapy with the toddler. 3
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Do not try to eliminate the comfort object (blanket chewing) abruptly. 1 This is an age-appropriate self-soothing mechanism. Instead, ensure the blanket is clean and safe, and gradually teach additional coping skills alongside it.
Avoid overprotectiveness that restricts normal social development. 2 While supporting the anxious child, continue to provide age-appropriate opportunities for exploration and interaction.
Do not expect the child to "outgrow" anxiety without intervention. 4 Three-quarters of anxiety disorders have origins in childhood, and early intervention prevents chronic patterns. 4