From the Guidelines
I strongly advise against spanking a 4-year-old child, as it can lead to increased aggression, antisocial behavior, and poorer mental health outcomes. Instead, use positive discipline strategies such as clear communication, consistent boundaries, natural consequences, positive reinforcement, and time-outs when necessary. When a child misbehaves, calmly explain why their behavior is inappropriate, redirect them to acceptable activities, and praise good behavior when you see it. For example, if your child hits another child, remove them from the situation, explain why hitting is wrong, and have them take a brief time-out (about 4 minutes for a 4-year-old) 1.
Research shows that physical punishment like spanking can have severe consequences, including increased risk of child maltreatment, as it teaches children that physical force is an acceptable way to solve problems 1. Young children are still developing emotional regulation skills and need guidance, not punishment. By modeling calm, respectful behavior even when disciplining, you help your child learn appropriate ways to handle difficult emotions and situations.
Some key factors to consider when disciplining a child include:
- Using positive reinforcement strategies, such as praise, to increase desired behaviors
- Implementing natural consequences, such as removing privileges, to reduce undesired behaviors
- Providing clear communication and consistent boundaries to help the child understand what is expected of them
- Avoiding harsh disciplinary strategies, such as corporal punishment, which can have a deleterious effect on the parent-child relationship 1
- Being aware of the potential risks of child maltreatment, including factors such as parental depression, substance abuse, and social isolation 1
It is essential to prioritize the child's emotional and psychological well-being when disciplining, and to seek help if you are struggling with managing your child's behavior or if you are concerned about the risk of child maltreatment 1.
From the Research
Spanking a 4-Year-Old: Research Findings
- The practice of spanking is prevalent in disciplining very young children, with 19% of mothers believing it is appropriate to spank a child less than 1 year old, and 74% believing it is appropriate for children 1 to 3 years old 2.
- Frequent use of corporal punishment, such as spanking, when a child is 3 years old is associated with increased risk for higher levels of child aggression when the child is 5 years old 3.
- Maternal physical practices, including spanking, act as mediators or moderator variables in models that explain behavioral and developmental problems in early childhood 4.
- The belief in and practice of spanking are highly correlated, suggesting that belief rather than impulse largely explains spanking of children less than 4 years old 2.
- The high correlation between spanking and negative approach toward discipline raises questions about whether negative consequences of spanking are the result of spanking per se, the negative approach toward the child, or both 2.
Associations with Child Development
- There are significant associations between maternal spanking and corporal punishment with deteriorated child behavior and development, concurrently or later, in 94% of the studies reviewed 4.
- Spanking and other forms of corporal punishment in child-rearing have been used by families worldwide to correct children's unwanted behaviors, despite previous studies focusing on the negative consequences of these parental practices 4.
- The context of the spanking affects beliefs and practices, with belief in spanking and negative approach being stronger for older toddlers 2.