From the Guidelines
To develop a secure attachment style as an adult, focus on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and building healthy relationships, as these factors have been shown to contribute to secure attachment, particularly in the context of trauma-informed care 1. The most recent and highest quality study on this topic, published in 2021 in the journal Pediatrics, highlights the importance of relational health care and secure attachment in the context of trauma-informed care 1. This study emphasizes that children only heal from trauma in the context of safe, stable, and nurturing relationships (SSNRs), and that caregivers play a crucial role in providing this environment.
Key factors that contribute to developing a secure attachment style in adults include:
- Self-awareness, which involves examining current attachment patterns and emotional responses
- Emotional regulation, which can be achieved through mindfulness techniques and identifying and naming feelings without judgment
- Building healthy relationships, which involves communicating openly and respectfully, practicing vulnerability, and working on self-compassion
- Seeking therapy, particularly approaches like Attachment-Based Therapy or Emotionally Focused Therapy, which directly address attachment issues
It is also important to recognize that trauma can impact attachment styles, and that trauma-informed care can help individuals develop more secure attachment patterns 1. This approach assumes that all caregivers love their children and are doing the best they can, and that children's observed symptoms may be a result of trauma or stressors in their environment.
In terms of specific strategies, individuals can start by reflecting on their current attachment patterns and relationship behaviors, and seeking out supportive relationships and therapy as needed. Practicing self-compassion and emotional regulation can also help individuals develop more secure attachment patterns over time. As noted in a 2015 study published in the Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, adult attachment style is a relatively stable individual difference that can influence risk for postpartum depression and other mental health outcomes 1. However, the most recent and highest quality study on this topic, published in 2021, provides more comprehensive guidance on developing secure attachment styles in adults 1.
From the Research
Factors Contributing to Secure Attachment Style in Adults
Several factors contribute to the development of a secure attachment style in adults, including:
- Therapeutic relationships: A secure therapeutic relationship can help individuals develop a secure attachment style 2, 3, 4
- Attachment-informed therapy: Therapy that takes into account an individual's attachment style and needs can help them develop a secure attachment style 2, 3
- Earned secure attachment: Individuals with insecure childhood attachment can develop a secure attachment style in adulthood through positive relationships and experiences 4, 5
- Reflective functioning: The ability to reflect on one's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences can contribute to the development of a secure attachment style 5
- Secondary attachment figures: Positive relationships with secondary attachment figures, such as friends or romantic partners, can contribute to the development of a secure attachment style 5
Key Themes in Attachment-Informed Therapy
Several key themes have been identified in attachment-informed therapy, including:
- Changing internal working models: Helping individuals change their negative self-views and develop a more positive and secure sense of self 3
- Creating a secure base: Establishing a safe and supportive therapeutic relationship that allows individuals to feel secure and explore their thoughts and feelings 3
- Formulating and processing relationship experiences: Helping individuals understand and process their relationship experiences and develop a more secure attachment style 3
- Countertransference: Therapists' awareness of their own attachment style and how it may impact the therapeutic relationship 3
Association between Attachment Style and Affect Regulation
Research has shown that adult attachment style is associated with strategic variations in self-appraisals and affect regulation, with:
- Secure individuals holding a stable positive self-view 6
- Avoidant individuals showing a positive self-view that is strengthened by distress arousal and weakened by factors that inhibit regulatory mechanisms 6
- Anxious-ambivalent individuals showing a negative self-view that is related to their attempts to win others' compassion and affection 6