How can adults develop a secure attachment style from an insecure one?

From the Guidelines

To develop a secure attachment style from an insecure one as an adult, it is crucial to engage in self-reflection, seek therapy, and build healthy relationships with secure individuals, as these steps can help rewire neural pathways related to relationship expectations and emotional regulation, ultimately leading to improved morbidity, mortality, and quality of life outcomes. When considering the development of a secure attachment style, it's essential to understand that this process involves creating new internal working models of relationships based on security rather than fear or avoidance, as supported by the principles of trauma-informed care 1. Key steps in this process include:

• Engaging in self-reflection to understand current attachment patterns and their origins
• Seeking therapy, particularly with approaches like Attachment-Based Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, or Psychodynamic Therapy, which directly address attachment issues, with regular sessions over 6-12 months typically needed for meaningful change
• Practicing self-compassion by acknowledging that the attachment style developed as a coping mechanism and isn't one's fault
• Building healthy relationships with secure individuals who can provide consistent support and model secure attachment behaviors
• Developing emotional awareness by identifying and expressing feelings appropriately rather than suppressing or overreacting to them
• Challenging negative beliefs about oneself and relationships through cognitive restructuring techniques
• Practicing mindfulness to stay present during emotional triggers rather than falling into old patterns The importance of secure relationships in developing resilience and managing stressful experiences is highlighted in studies on trauma-informed care, which emphasize the role of safe, stable, and nurturing relationships in preventing or ameliorating the effects of cumulative adversities 1. Furthermore, effective parenting skills, including empathy and compassion, are crucial in helping children regulate their emotions and develop secure attachment, principles that can be applied to adult relationships as well 1. By prioritizing these steps and understanding the underlying principles of secure attachment and trauma-informed care, adults can work towards developing a secure attachment style, leading to improved mental health outcomes and quality of life.

From the Research

Developing a Secure Attachment Style

To develop a secure attachment style from an insecure one, several factors and processes can be considered:

• Earned Secure Attachment (ESA) is a concept that refers to the process by which individuals with insecure childhood attachment develop secure relationships in adulthood 2
• Developmental factors, such as the role of secondary attachment figures and reflective functioning, can contribute to earned-security in attachment 2
• Making intrapsychic changes, such as committing to the process of change and working with a clinician trained in trauma-focused therapy, can be an important part of earning secure attachment 3
• Making interpersonal changes, such as forming healthy relationships and developing a supportive social network, can also contribute to earning secure attachment 3
• Working with a clinician who can serve as a surrogate attachment figure can be an important part of the process of earning secure attachment 3

Assessment and Measurement of Secure Attachment

Several self-report measures of secure attachment in adulthood have been developed, including:

• The Attachment Style Questionnaire-Short Form (ASQ-SF) 4
• The Cartes-Modèles Individuels de Relations (CAMIR) 4
• The Cartes-Modèles Individuels de Relations-Reduced (CAMIR-R) 4
• The Psychological Treatment Inventory-Attachment Style Scales (PTI-ASS) 4 However, the psychometric properties of these measures are variable, and more research is needed to establish their validity and reliability 4

Implications for Clinical Practice

The process of earning secure attachment can have important implications for clinical practice, including:

• The importance of clinicians being trained in trauma-focused therapy and serving as surrogate attachment figures for clients 3
• The need for clients to commit to the process of change and work with a clinician to develop a supportive therapeutic relationship 3
• The potential for self-report measures of secure attachment to be used as a tool for assessing and monitoring client progress in therapy 4