From the Guidelines
Moving on from someone you're attached to requires a combination of therapy, self-care, and time, with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) being a highly effective approach, as supported by the most recent and highest quality study 1.
Key Components of the Approach
- CBT typically requires 12-16 weekly sessions and has strong evidence supporting its effectiveness for processing emotional attachments.
- In some cases, healthcare providers may prescribe short-term medications like SSRIs (such as sertraline 50-100mg daily or fluoxetine 20-40mg daily) to manage severe anxiety or depression symptoms during this transition period, though medication alone is not a solution, as noted in 1.
- Establishing a consistent routine that includes regular exercise (30 minutes daily), adequate sleep (7-9 hours nightly), and social connection helps regulate mood and create new neural pathways.
Understanding the Science Behind Attachment
- The science behind attachment shows that romantic bonds activate similar brain regions as addiction, particularly involving dopamine and oxytocin, which explains why separation can trigger withdrawal-like symptoms.
- Limiting contact with the person, practicing mindfulness meditation for 10-15 minutes daily, and journaling about emotions can help rewire these neural connections over time, as suggested by the principles outlined in 1.
Expected Outcomes
- Most people begin experiencing significant improvement within 3-6 months of consistent effort.
- It's essential to prioritize the treatment of depressive symptoms, as recommended in 1, and consider a unified protocol combining cognitive behavior therapy treatments for depression and anxiety.
From the Research
Medically/Scientifically Proven Ways of Moving On
- Focusing on someone new can help anxiously attached individuals overcome attachment to an ex-romantic partner, as suggested by a study published in the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin 2
- Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) have been shown to be effective in treating depression and anxiety disorders, which can be related to attachment issues, as reported in the Journal of Affective Disorders 3 and the Harvard Review of Psychiatry 4
- A combination of SSRI and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can produce greater improvement than either treatment alone, as found in a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders 3
- SSRIs, such as escitalopram, have been found to be effective in treating major depressive disorder, as reported in the International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice 5
- SSRIs and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) have been found to be effective in treating anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, and stress disorders, as reported in PLoS Medicine 6
Key Findings
- The use of SSRIs, such as fluoxetine, sertraline, paroxetine, fluvoxamine, and citalopram, has been found to be effective in treating various disorders, including major depression, dysthymia, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder 4
- The combination of SSRI and CBT has been found to be superior to SSRI monotherapy in treating youth with depression and anxiety, as reported in the Journal of Affective Disorders 3
- Focusing on someone new can help anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners, as suggested by a study published in the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin 2
Treatment Options
- SSRIs, such as escitalopram, can be an effective treatment option for major depressive disorder, as reported in the International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice 5
- A combination of SSRI and CBT can be an effective treatment option for youth with depression and anxiety, as reported in the Journal of Affective Disorders 3
- SSRIs and SNRIs can be effective treatment options for anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, and stress disorders, as reported in PLoS Medicine 6