What is the best approach to address intimacy concerns in a 62-year-old male?

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Approaching Intimacy Concerns in a 62-Year-Old Male

Begin this telehealth visit by directly initiating the conversation about sexual concerns, as most men are uncomfortable broaching this topic themselves, and conduct a comprehensive sexual, medical, and psychosocial history to determine if erectile dysfunction or other intimacy issues are present. 1

Initial Conversation Framework

Use the BETTER approach to structure your telehealth discussion: 1

  • Bring up the topic directly: "Many men your age experience changes in their sexual function. What specific concerns brought you to schedule this visit?"
  • Explain that intimacy concerns are common and treatable, affecting quality of life
  • Tell the patient you can provide resources and treatment options
  • Timing: Acknowledge this may be difficult to discuss, but addressing it improves outcomes
  • Educate about potential causes and available interventions
  • Record your assessment and plan

Essential History Components

Sexual History - Ask specifically about: 1

  • Onset: Sudden (suggests psychogenic) vs. gradual (suggests organic/vascular) 2
  • Pattern: Problems with attaining erection, maintaining erection, or both
  • Situational factors: Does it occur only with partners, only in specific contexts, or all situations
  • Morning/nocturnal erections: Presence suggests psychogenic component 1
  • Masturbatory erections: Preserved function suggests psychogenic etiology 1
  • Severity and degree of bother: Use validated questionnaires like Sexual Health Inventory for Men or Erection Hardness Score 1
  • Prior treatments: What has been tried and response

Medical History - Screen for: 1

  • Cardiovascular risk factors: Hypertension, diabetes, dyslipidemia, smoking, family history of vascular disease (ED is a risk marker for cardiovascular disease) 1
  • Medications: Antihypertensives, antidepressants, opioids, hormone therapy 1
  • Comorbidities: Depression, anxiety, relationship issues, substance use 1
  • Prior surgeries: Particularly pelvic or prostate surgery 1

Psychosocial Assessment: 1

  • Depression, anxiety, performance anxiety
  • Relationship quality and partner concerns
  • Alcohol or drug use
  • Stress levels

Physical Examination Priorities

During a follow-up in-person visit (if needed), examine: 1

  • Vital signs: Blood pressure and pulse
  • Genital examination: Penile skin lesions, urethral meatus placement, palpate stretched penis from pubic bone to coronal sulcus for plaques or deformities (Peyronie's disease)
  • Note: Digital rectal exam is NOT required for ED evaluation 1

Laboratory Testing

Order the following tests: 1

  • Morning serum total testosterone (mandatory for all men with ED) 1
  • Fasting glucose or HbA1c 1, 3
  • Fasting lipid profile 1, 3
  • Consider PSA if age-appropriate and not recently checked 3

Cardiovascular Risk Stratification

Critical safety assessment before treatment: 1

  • Sexual activity equals walking 1 mile in 20 minutes or climbing 2 flights of stairs in 20 seconds 1
  • If patient cannot perform these activities without symptoms, refer to cardiology BEFORE treating ED 1
  • Counsel that ED is a risk marker for underlying cardiovascular disease requiring evaluation 1

Treatment Algorithm

First-Line: Lifestyle Modifications + PDE5 Inhibitors

Initiate simultaneously (not sequentially): 2

Lifestyle changes: 1, 2

  • Smoking cessation 2
  • Weight loss if BMI >30 kg/m² 2
  • Increase physical activity 1
  • Reduce alcohol consumption 1
  • Optimize glycemic control if diabetic 2
  • Optimize blood pressure and lipid management 2

Pharmacotherapy - PDE5 Inhibitors (sildenafil, tadalafil, vardenafil, avanafil): 1, 2, 3

  • Efficacy: 60-65% of men achieve successful intercourse 2, 3
  • Dosing strategy: Start conservatively, titrate to maximum dose 1, 2
  • Adequate trial: At least 5 separate occasions at maximum dose before declaring failure 1, 2
  • If first PDE5i fails: Try a different PDE5i at maximum dose 1, 2

Critical instructions for maximizing efficacy: 1

  • Take on empty stomach or light meal (fatty meals reduce absorption)
  • Allow adequate time before sexual activity (sildenafil/vardenafil: 30-60 min; tadalafil: 30 min to 12 hours)
  • Sexual stimulation is required for effect
  • Avoid alcohol excess before use

Absolute contraindications: 2, 4

  • Concurrent nitrate use (any form) 1, 2, 4
  • Guanylate cyclase stimulators (riociguat) 2
  • Recent stroke or myocardial infarction 4
  • Unstable angina 4

Common side effects to discuss: 4

  • Headache, flushing, nasal congestion, dyspepsia 4
  • Visual changes (rare but seek immediate care) 4
  • Sudden hearing loss (rare but seek immediate care) 4
  • Priapism: If erection >4 hours, seek emergency care 4

Concurrent Mental Health Referral

For psychogenic ED or performance anxiety: 1, 2

  • Refer to mental health professional or sex therapist concurrently with PDE5i initiation, not after failure 1, 2
  • Address depression, anxiety, relationship conflict 1, 2
  • Include partner in counseling when possible 1
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy and social support frameworks are effective 1

Second-Line Therapies (After Two PDE5i Failures)

Refer to urology for: 1, 2

  • Intraurethral alprostadil suppositories 1
  • Intracavernous vasoactive drug injection therapy (alprostadil) 1, 3
  • Vacuum erection devices 1, 5

Third-Line: Surgical Options

Penile prosthesis implantation: 2, 3, 5

  • Reserved for patients who fail all medical therapies 2
  • High satisfaction rates in appropriately selected patients 3

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

  • Don't wait for the patient to bring up sexual concerns - physicians must initiate 1
  • Don't declare PDE5i failure after 1-2 attempts - requires 5 trials at maximum dose 1, 2
  • Don't forget to check for nitrate use - absolute contraindication with potentially fatal consequences 1, 2, 4
  • Don't delay mental health referral - should occur concurrently with medical treatment, not sequentially 1, 2
  • Don't overlook testosterone deficiency - check morning total testosterone in all men with ED 1
  • Don't ignore cardiovascular risk - ED is a sentinel marker requiring cardiovascular evaluation 1
  • Don't assume psychogenic ED doesn't need PDE5i - first-line treatment regardless of etiology 2

Documentation and Follow-Up

  • Document sexual history, cardiovascular risk assessment, and treatment plan 1
  • Schedule follow-up to assess treatment efficacy, side effects, and health status changes 1
  • Ensure patient understands proper PDE5i use and when to seek emergency care 1, 4

References

Guideline

Guideline Directed Topic Overview

Dr.Oracle Medical Advisory Board & Editors, 2025

Guideline

Treatment of Erectile Dysfunction

Praxis Medical Insights: Practical Summaries of Clinical Guidelines, 2025

Research

Current diagnosis and management of erectile dysfunction.

The Medical journal of Australia, 2019

Professional Medical Disclaimer

This information is intended for healthcare professionals. Any medical decision-making should rely on clinical judgment and independently verified information. The content provided herein does not replace professional discretion and should be considered supplementary to established clinical guidelines. Healthcare providers should verify all information against primary literature and current practice standards before application in patient care. Dr.Oracle assumes no liability for clinical decisions based on this content.

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