Counseling Children Who Have Witnessed Domestic Violence Between Parents
Children who have witnessed domestic violence between parents should be referred to specialized evidence-based programs such as the Child Witness to Domestic Violence program, which has been shown to significantly reduce behavioral difficulties, hyperactivity, and negative emotional symptoms while improving maternal hope. 1
Assessment Approach
- Obtain a thorough social history to identify risk factors and build on family strengths and resilience factors 2
- Be alert to signs and symptoms of parental intimate partner violence, as children who witness such violence are at risk for developmental delay, school failure, violent behavior, and psychiatric disorders including depression and oppositional defiant disorder 2
- Recognize that children who witness domestic violence may have complex trauma responses that affect multiple developmental domains including emotional health, cognition, learning, behavior, and sense of self 2
Counseling Framework for Children
Understanding the Child's Perspective
- Acknowledge that children who witness domestic violence often have multifaceted and complex views of both parents 3
- Recognize that children are acutely aware of power dynamics in domestic violence situations and may perceive the perpetrating parent as overpowering and controlling 3
- Help children process their feelings about parents who may not meet their emotional or physical needs due to the violence 3
Therapeutic Interventions
- Refer to structured group programs like the Child Witness to Domestic Violence program, which provides psychoeducation on trauma and domestic violence impacts 1
- Focus on building protective factors that promote resilience, including self-esteem, self-determination, and self-efficacy 4
- Address both hedonic (feeling good) and eudaimonic (functioning well) aspects of well-being to promote comprehensive healing 4
- Help children understand that their parents' behavior is not their fault and teach them how to protect themselves by sharing concerning experiences with trusted adults 2
Supporting the Family System
- Recognize that the child's behavioral issues may be a symptom of parental conflict (spill-over effects) and consider family therapeutic sessions at the couple level when appropriate 5
- Provide parents with techniques to manage stress and information about respite care to allow breaks from childcare responsibilities 2
- Guide parents in providing effective discipline, encouraging alternatives to corporal punishment such as time-out techniques and positive reinforcement 2
- Connect families with community resources for evidence-based parent training and intervention for intimate partner violence 2
Safety Considerations
- Assess for immediate safety concerns - if there is significant doubt about the child's safety, the caregivers' ability to protect, or if maltreatment is suspected, contact child protective services 2
- Recognize that children who remain at home after child protective services investigation or are moved to kinship care may still have an extremely high prevalence of significant childhood trauma 2
- Consider that emotional abuse, while less visible than physical abuse, may be at the core of family dysfunction and can be the most damaging dimension 6
Pitfalls to Avoid
- Failing to recognize the emotional context of physical abuse can lead to incomplete assessment and intervention 6
- Focusing solely on the child's symptoms without addressing the parental relationship dynamics may limit therapeutic effectiveness 5
- Overlooking the potential for resilience - about 30% of adolescents who experience even serious forms of physical abuse can escape the family violence cycle with appropriate support 4
By implementing these evidence-based approaches to counseling children who have witnessed domestic violence between parents, clinicians can help break the cycle of violence and promote healing and resilience in affected children.